


Theo's Survival

by hiccupfound



Series: NQDM Universe [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24154789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiccupfound/pseuds/hiccupfound
Summary: Theo's a werewolf. No, it's cool. Really. He's not losing his shit at all.
Series: NQDM Universe [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725760
Comments: 11
Kudos: 57





	Theo's Survival

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to the song Donna by The Lumineers. The words and theme don't really match up but the emotions that the song makes me feel (sadness and acceptance) really line up with what I wanted to write.

The moment Theo woke up on the stained, sticky carpet of the Grimmauld Place living room, he knew something was off. 

He tried to remember what he’d been doing last. He couldn’t recall apparating back to Head Quarters. The last thing he could bring to the forefront of his mind was the image of him and Ginny being ambushed by a group of werewolves.

_ Ginny. _

He sat up quickly, taking stock of the people surrounding him. It was dark, but he had no trouble settling his eyes on Hermione. She was the only one awake. She looked frightened, which was a feat within itself— nothing seemed to shock Hermione, not since Theo had joined the Order two years ago. Her eyes dropped to his neck and suddenly he remembered.

“Why am I not dead?”

\---

To be frank, he thinks he took the whole  _ werewolf thing  _ with a lot of grace. He was told the next full moon would happen in three days. 

He didn’t rage. He didn’t hit anything. He didn’t even scream. He took the information and let it travel around his mind for a bit. If he had it in him, he might have even felt sorry for himself.

But then he thought about all of the dead people who were younger and smarter and more genuine than him. The ones who would never get a second chance to try and make a difference.

Did he even want to make a difference? He had come to the Order to bring some kind of cosmic balance to the universe— his great grandmother was a Seer and he was a firm believer in karma. If he was fighting for one side of the war— the  _ wrong  _ side— then the only way to balance it out was to change and throw in his lot with the other.

That didn’t mean he wanted to be written into history books and touted as a war hero. He just didn’t need to fret about being cursed for the rest of his life because he was too much a coward to make the right decision.

So he’d come to the Order. For him. Well, for Pansy too, but he would have still arrived on the Grimmauld Place doorstep even without her. Because he loved himself and he wanted a clear path after all this shite was done and over with. Theo looked out for himself, even when it meant major changes had to be made.

This time, major changes had been thrusted upon him. He wasn’t given the option to sit and ponder it for a few weeks. One moment he was Theo, pureblood wizard, and the next he was a halfbreed, no better than the scum under his shoe.

Theo didn’t think that about werewolves. But the public did. 

His father did.

Theo had never realized he would care about either of those things. But then again, Theo had never been part of a group of people that were marginalized and thought to be lesser than everyone else. It turns out he was just as shallow as his namesake. 

Ginny walked up to him then, coming to sit next to him on the roof where he’d been isolating himself while he pretended to be totally okay with everything that was happening. Soon they’d be leaving for Draco’s cabin, where they’d stuff him in a basement and hope and pray he wasn’t strong enough to break out and kill them because they were too stubborn to leave him alone.

“Your thoughts are going crazy,” she mused, leaning back against her elbows and watching as the sun began sinking. Not yet low enough to be concerned, but Theo’s stomach churned anyways.

“You’ll have to apologize to Hermione when this is all said and done, you know.”

“Said and done?” He turned towards Ginny, normally so full of warmth. He felt dead and cold inside. When he reached out, their tether was empty and he recoiled against the feeling. “This isn’t just a one and done, Ginny. Do you know how many full moons there are in a year? Some months they’ll happen twice, and then what happens the rest of the time? We feign ignorance and pretend like I’m not part monster?”

“I’ll not be a part of your pity party, Theo. Our tether is empty because you’re so self righteous it’s making me vomit.”

He sat up straight, turning so he could face her head on. His fists were clenched. “How can you say that to me? I’m really struggling here and all you can say is that you won’t coddle me?” Theo crossed his arms. “I don’t need it, anyways. I have myself and that’s the only person I look out for.”

Ginny reached a hand out and placed it on top of his knee. The contact seeped from her palm into his skin and he fought the urge to sink into her shoulders and sob about how unfair and scary it all felt. 

“When you were bit, I honestly thought I was going to die,” she whispered. “I could feel the tendons in my neck ripping even as I pried the body off of you and apparated you back home. There was so much blood. Nothing new, I suppose. I’ve seen people bleed out before.” She glanced out onto the horizon and Theo could see her eyes were sparkling. 

“But if someone was going to die in battle, it was  _ always  _ going to be me. I was so sure of it that I would have searched the Ministry for a prophecy on it. So I was really thrown for it when it was you that was attacked, bleeding out on Grimmauld Place’s floor, convulsing in the bathtub…”

Ginny leaned forward, looking Theo in the eye and for the first time in days she reached out to him, and he was flooded with her emotions. He was overcome with fear, blinded by sadness and washed through with guilt. A tear slid down Ginny’s cheek.

“So I’m sorry if I held back. Because you’re suffering and I can’t help. You almost died and I would have left everything worth fighting for behind and joined you without a second thought and I… I don’t know how to cope with any of it.”

He pulled her into his chest and suddenly they were both kneeling, squeezing each other tight enough to cut off circulation. She was sobbing into his shirt in the most un-Ginny like manner. Ginny didn’t cry. Ginny wasn’t ruled by feelings of guilt or regret. And Theo couldn’t remember a single moment in the past two years when Ginny showed fear. Ginny wasn’t afraid of anything.

“I’m so scared of losing you,” she said in response to his thoughts. “The second the relief of you not being dead washed over me I realized that it was  _ my  _ job to protect and defend you. I failed you and this is my fault and now your life is forever changed, and I’m scared what that’s going to do to you in the future.”

Theo pulled her tighter still and bit back on the sob he felt working its way up his throat. He had a feeling if he started, he wouldn’t be able to stop for hours. Ginny had taught him stoicism in place of hopelessness and he wanted to exercise it now. He wanted to be strong for Ginny, because she had carried him for so long. 

“You didn’t fail me,” he said in a shaky voice because he was human, despite what the werewolf bite meant. He couldn’t hold back the words that wanted to break through even if it meant he was unsteady through the entirety of the conversation. “You saved my life. You came out here and told me exactly what I needed to hear. I’ll never  _ ever  _ regret anything that happens between the two of us because you make me a better person. I’m sorry I haven’t told you sooner.”

They sat like that for a while, until Luna came up to call them down. She pat Ginny on the back and pretended to not notice her red eyes. When she saw Theo’s damp shirt, she cleaned it and leaned into him with a soft smile.

“Your life is changing drastically today.”

And Theo laughed, because only Luna was able to sum up everything he’d been feeling and make it seem so  _ simple.  _ Maybe it was just that easy. He could go down to the basement, transform into the newest intruder in his mind and then be done with it. He could act like he wasn’t a werewolf for twenty six days out of the month.

“If you get the chance to speak with your wolf, will you tell him I said hello?”

Theo tilted his head at her. “You— you want me to talk to my wolf on your behalf?”

“Well yes,” she nodded as she pulled him down the stairs. “He’s a part of you now. After this transformation, you two will be able to make peace and become one. I don’t want him to feel like I’m invading your shared space.”

There was so much there to soak in, so Theo merely nodded. 

Down in the basement of the cabin, Theo had never felt so much pain before. He was out of control as an angry wolf lashed out and attempted to escape. The entire time Theo kept himself sane with memories of Luna, particularly their conversation as they came down from the roof.

When he changed back the next morning, he was exhausted, dirty and way more injured than he planned to let on. The flame of his anger was still there, burning brightly. 

The attic door opened. Luna and Ginny came piling down, throwing their arms around him. He returned the pressure with equal force. His eyes stung with tears.

Inside him, the wolf tilted his head curiously. He looked towards the flame, unsure. On the other side Theo flooded him with other emotions. The wolf sniffed at them, before walking away slowly, going to settle down beside fire. Theo felt the anger flare up in him, but he focused on the arms around him and reminded himself that love was enough to save the wizarding world.

He was angry, yes. But his anger would never outweigh his capacity to love. Inside him, the wolf stood by the one thing it had always known. But Theo felt it. He was curious, searching from the safety of his own chains. 

In time, he would show him there was more to life.

Perhaps one day they could coexist in peace. Maybe one day they would even find it in themselves to make a difference, for more than just himself.

Theo could swear the flame dimmed, even if just for a moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Looking for recommendations on one shots to write, especially in reference to NQDM. (I'm literally working on thre other dramione multi chaps currently) Come shout them at me @hiccupfound pls.


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